Getting Close

The marathon is so close now!  No more long runs, just shorter easy runs.  This training did definitely not go as I planned, but you know what, my life was more exciting then I planned!  I will be crossing that dang finish line on November 3rd!  It may not look pretty, but I will be there.  I have big plans after this is done as far as exercise.  A whole new routine using yoga and walking.  Minimal impact, but strength training.

I have all my bib info and times and I'm going to put that up next week, that's right it is all confirmed baby!

As far as married life, it's good, it's easy right now.  I am not sure why, but the finality of it feels so comforting and makes you want to work harder.  I know now more than ever before that I support gay marriage because I was with B for over 7 years when we got married and it does feel different, in such a wonderful way.  Everyone should feel that!

I have also been having fun outside (on days that I wasn't totally exhausted from long runs).

I cheered on my old College

I celebrated a special boys 2nd birthday

I got some important snuggle time with my ole hound dog

This weekend, short run tonight, hike tomorrow and 8-9 miler tomorrow (easy breezy)!  Oh, I almost forgot, it's pretty cold out right now!  There is that whole thing.  I have run in shorts and a quick dry t shirt for all of my runs.  Last weekend I ran a half marathon (taper down) at a 9 1/2 minute mile pace and wore pants.  It was cold, but you know what the pants where too much!  I am going to try out my pants that I have that end right below the knee this weekend.  I'm hoping that is the perfect balance for this weather.  

"The whole point of the week is the weekend"  :)

down but not out!

I ran 18 miles this weekend and felt really good! I had a calf cramp that I had to massage and I am still working on strengthening and stretching it completely, but other than that I was in the zone! I ran at 9-10 minute mile pace and I was super tired but I felt ok. 18 miles is huge! I was supposed to be at 19 without any breaks in my training and one mile short is nothing! I'm going to go for 20 this Saturday and that will put me 100% back on track! I am doing it! I am going to cross that freaking finish line in a month!

Other amazing things I did are:

1.  Going to in-laws to go through our honeymoon photos

2.  Hanging with some friends in town after a long after run nap

3.  Apple picking with good friends (annual tradition)

4.  FOOTBALL!  Sunday Funday!

Overall, this weekend was great, a lot of moving and shaking, eating and laughing and of course sleeping!

I woke up today and took C for a long walk testing how my calf felt and it felt really good!  Tonight I'm going to make two apple breads (freeze one) and take C for another long walk and do some squats/lunges and stretch the crap out of my legs.  I have to 6 mile runs I'm planning on doing tomorrow and Thursday and want to make sure my calf is fully recovered.

Married and running!

I got married! I went to France! I'm still running in the Marathon! The top picture is of my brother, me, B & my sister :) Unfortunately I'm still erroring out and have to type in HTML. This situation is so beyond frustrating. I think I need to upgrade my windows, but I use a work computer (during my free time) and I cannot upgrade unless I get permission, booo!

Anywho, my weddding was magical in every way and it was over within a blink of the eye. Then me and B whisked ourselves off to France and had the BEST time. We gorged on food, wine, history and relaxation! The Europeans know how to do it right though because even with eating so much cheese, wine, etc I lost weight! We did so much moving around it worked out great! What I didn't do was my long runs :( I did two runs both 6 miles and when I came home and did my long run last weekend, I felt the damage. I only was able to complete 15 and it was at a 10/11 minute mile pace. I put myself back on track this week and hopefully I will feel better this Saturday. Either way I'm crossing that flipping finish line! Below are some pictures of what I will remember as the best couple of weeks of my life!

 

Clyde as a pup

Clyde on 4th of July, little guy celebrated his 7th Birthday on August 15th!

I know I have been slacking. I'm sorry :( I said it before and I will say it now, wedding planning and training is hard! I have been training though! Last week I ran 13.2 pretty fast and felt great. I ran it at a 9:25 minute mile pace with weird splits, but I felt really good. I got new sneakers and anti blister socks and I think they really made a difference. Tomorrow I have 14 miles and this weekend I have tons of wedding odds and ends to finish up.

I am getting married in one week! Next Friday!  Below are some pictures of the pallette I'm drawing from to get you an idea of what my wedding might look like.  I have some pictures of me on my final fitting etc, but that I will have to save until after!

Bridesmaid Dress Pallette

Centerpiece base idea

Very soon you will be able to see a lot more and I can't wait to show it!  We are beyond excited and also kind of exhausted!  Cannot wait for our honeymoon in France!!!  Have a great weekend!

Mid Week Runs

I haven't been that great with my mid week runs. I am supposed to do three about 4-5 miles a week. The last two weeks I only did two and they were between 3-5. Now it isn't because I'm not feeling good, it is because I have no freaking time. I really should have really thought about training for a marathon in the midst of my planning/throwing a wedding. The truth is I did think about that, last year! I was engaged and I was going to run the 2012 NYC Marathon. That WAS the plan. Well, plans change and now I'm a mess! The good news is I 100% always get my long run in each weeekend. I have been feeling really good for the most part. I have a slight heel issue, but nothing too crazy. I ran Thursday morning, super fast too. I ran 4 miles in a little under 9 minute mile pace because, you guessed it, I woke up late. I have been having trouble sleeping and my body needs sleep! I am soooooo excited to marry the man and celebrate all night with my friends and family, but I'm telling ya, I am also super excited to go back to a quieter life! A good spot during the week was having dinner with my dad! It was super fun and we had a fabulous meal! I took a picture of my "desert" a cheese plate! I ate the two cheeses to the far left, yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum! Have a great weekend! **update the stupid page isn't working. I think I'm going to start having to blog at home :( I guess I'll have to show you that gorgeous cheese plate another time!

Bachelorette Weekend!

This weekend was just so special! It really makes me cry thinking about how lucky I am to have such amazing friends and family! There was a lot going on this weekend and all of it was just happy and fun. I'm going to show you the weekend in pictures!

Preview of the back of my hair on my trials on Thursday

View from dinner on Friday night, this is the Jersey Shore!

Ha, ha!  A little festive decorating!

A "before" picture

My grandma made that veil for me to celebrate in, so cute!

Crazy bride face!

Smackin the bum!

Towards the end of the night, that is my bum! 

Thank you, thank you, thank you to all my girls for making this girl feel extra special!  I had the best time and now I'm ready to marry my man in 25 days!  

Erroring out again, return to posting tbd...

9 and feeling so alive

Yesterday I woke up to a doggy that wanted a walk!  It was 6am and I was going to sleep in a bit and do a 2.5mile run, but Clyde was by my bed and I figured I owed him a good walk. The weather was chilly, in a good way, so we went for a couple miles.  I snapped this pic right before we left!

Look at him just eyeing up his leash!

I skipped my run, but hey like I have said before life happens and you have to work around it.  I walked about an hour with him that morning and then walked an additional amount in NYC, took the stairs instead of the escalator (major stairs people) and just put in little exercise here and there.

I am going camping this weekend and leaving super early Saturday morning, so I decided I needed to get my long run in this morning (Friday).  My alarm went off at 5am and thank god, it was still chilly!  I felt great, ran my 9 miles without a hitch and finished running to the bathroom!  There you have it, 9 miles is my marker of when I have to go to the bathroom!  The good news is there are plenty of areas I can stop and I know where they are from last year when my mileage adds up even higher!

Just finished 9.12 miles at 9.36 minute mile pace!

Although I am super tired, I am feeling really good today.  Soreness is at a minimum and the only ache I have is in my heel.  I am going to look into it and see what I can do, but I do not think I can do much.  Have a happy and healthy weekend!

Stats

This morning was a beautiful morning!  There was a nice breeze through my whole run.  Unfortunately, I had all my shorter running pants/shorts in the wash so I had to wear my long black running pants....fail!  Anyway, it wasn't all that bad.  I took a different route this morning.  I hit a big long climbing hill up around 1.5 miles then looped back around and did the stairs up from the bottom to the top of that hill on the way back.  Overall, felt pretty amazing!  I have been using my anti-friction rub which avoids blisters on my feet and even though I need new shoes I haven't had sore feet that much.

It will save your skin from a ton of pain, do yourself a favor and purchase S.T.A.T.!

I took a look at my "achievements" on micoach so far training this year and it makes me happy!  So far I have run:

10:05:22 hours

62.54 miles

8,120 calories burned

Not too shabby if I may say so myself and training has just begun! 

After my run this am, I took Clyde to the dog park and heard two people talking about their training.  It got me excited and I wanted to join in on the discussion, but I chickened out!  Although I have run many races and trained for the marathon last year, I still don't really think I'm qualified to join in with "real runners" you know, people who pace at 8 minutes or faster!  I don't know if I will ever be able to hang in that club, but it was cool to hear them talk about their training schedule.  Even though I run at a 9.5 or 10 minute mile pace, we are doing about the same mileage each week, which totally made me feel legit!

Tomorrow a super quick run, probably 2.5 miles or less.  I have to switch around my long run this weekend and do it early Friday morning (9 miles) and I don't want to push it the day before.

Good news alert!  My "skinny" work pants are starting to feel loose in my upper thigh area!  I haven't been weighing myself really, but my food choices have been pretty great for the most part.  I think some of that has to do with not weighing myself.  See if I see a loss, I usually give myself a "fat" day to gain some back, yeah that doesn't work.

Familiar Pavement

This weekend was filled with a ton of activity, but all good!

Friday started off with an early morning alarm going off at 5:30am.  I ran a quick 4 and some change mileage and then we hit the road for a drive to Spencer, MA.  We visited friends for the weekend and they took us on a surprise tubing trip!  To say it was fun was an understatement!  For about 4 hours we tubed down the Connecticut River with minor rapids, a cooler filled with beer and twisted teas and made a pitt stop to jump off some cliffs!  Below is a picture of us before we hit the river.

  The white bobble looking things was our coolers!

After tubing we got some Mexican, chatting a bit more and went to sleep at our friends home. 

It was an early rise again on Saturday.  Our friends have four children ages 5 and younger.  Yes, you heard that right!  They were up and ready to play around 6am and there wasn't really any point in trying to stall.  I got up immediately and started playing with the kids and tried to give B a couple more hours of sleep.  He was up about 30 minutes later ha!  They were having a BBQ that day, so we helped out where we could, but mostly I just played in the pool with the kids.  B is the godfather of the little girl (she is the only girl out of the bunch) and she is our flower girl in our wedding next month.  Here is a picture of me and my girl Luci at thier BBQ.

Total lovebug!

We left around 4pm and heading home to Hoboken.  Around 7:30 we got home, showered and tried to watch The Bourne Legacy.  It was a fail.  I fell asleep about an hour in.  Oh well, I'll have to catch the ending another time.

Sunday was, you guessed it, another early rise.  I got up around 6am and heading on my long run.  I was excited because on Sunday it did cool off a bit.  The heat wasn't that bad and it showed in my run. 

Kind of fuzzy, but above are my stats for that run.



I felt great, but it was kind of annoying because I had to start my tracker about a minute before I actually started my run.  I ran at around a 10 minute mile pace.  It isn't fast but I'm still starting out and my long runs I need to maintain a slow pace because I am not sure how much energy I will need at the end.  I did start hitting the beginings of the longer paths I took last year.  It was fun and it made me happy to see the same milestones I had surpassed last year.

After the run, I showered, got my oil changed, went to a fun baby shower for my beautiful cousin and headed home to chill the F out! 

Tonight, wedding work followed by an early morning short run! 

When it's this hot, you don't cool down

I ran my scheduled 4 miles this morning and I think my body is starting to get used to running in the heat.  There was zero breeze by the water and the sun was out in full force, but I didn't feel sick or exhausted.  Another bonus was that the water fountains where on!  Hoboken usually only turns their water fountains on after 7am, so it was a supremely pleasant surprise that they were on when I went for a drink around mile 3 at 6:30ish in the morning!  I dipped my whole face in that water fountain! 

I took a cold shower and just couldn't totally cool down.  I didn't put make up on because my face was still a little clammy and I just knew the walk to work I would only start sweating again.  Below is a picture of me on my way to work, an hour and cold shower after my run!

                                   Yup, still have a completely red face, kind of hard to put make up on!

I literally moved where ever I saw shade.  If one turn had a shadier path, I was on it.  Even though I managed to stay in the shadows of buildings, I was a little sweaty when I got to work.  Ugh, these are the only days I miss my job in NJ where I would just walk to my car, sit in AC, walk out of my car and go into an AC office!  Sweating and blouses are not the best of combinations! 

I tried something different this week, starting Monday, regards to eating.  I tried eating less bread, pasta & rice.  I am still eating a lot.  But in the morning I am going for two fried egg whites and two veggie sausages with a load of hot sauce, see below:

                                                                  Don't playa hate!

I have been eating a lot of salads, but a lot.  I mean I am not really full, and this morning I snuck on the scale and guess what, I lost weight!!!  I mean I know it's a mixture of running as well, but when I was eating toast for breakfast and pasta for dinner it definitely didn't feel as easy.  I mean I really am not feeling deprived or hungry during the day.  Well I'm going to try and continue this eating and let you know if some crazy urge or something comes over me and I binge on two loafs of Country Arnold white bread or something!

Long trip with a sweet ending!

I rented a movie, I Give It A Year, and ran to the buses.  It was a maze of people and smells, but I found the bus to Toms River!  Alas, I made it to the back of the line, which was winding and turning in all directions to keep up with the massive amount of people waiting.  Lucky me, I got onto my bus!  One cute and funny movie later I arrived in Toms River, exhausted, but not a bad ride!  I got back to my grams talked to her and my mom and waited for my brother and nephew to arrive.  Around 8:30 I saw his little head pop out of the car!  It has been a year, but my little silly nephew was here and still...silly!  The energy a happy child brings into a room is electric!  I wish he lived nearby so much!  Here he is in the middle of eating a ton of meatballs and pizza.

A little fuzzy because he was moving around, but look at that smile!

As you can probably tell, his mother is Philippine and man is that a dominant gene!  Such a good looking boy!  After a couple of hours, we were completely zonked and all called it a night.  I woke up at 5:45am and started my morning.  I had to catch a 6:45am bus back to NYC, so I was showered and eating cereal by 6:05am.  To my surprise Gav woke up and gave me a big hug and kiss goodbye!  Not the worst way to start a morning!

Not sure what my plans are for tonight.  We have some wedding planning we have to do, but other than that I am looking forward to a low key night.

Tomorrow am, a medium run (prob 4-5 miles).  My long run is going to be on Sunday this week, 8 miles, so I will be running tomorrow and Friday am!

I can blog!

Yay!  No more errors!  Ok, so I have done a lot since my last post, too much to remember, but I did save my 4th of July post that didn't work.  Since then running has been great, I am 100% on schedule with my plan and even though it feels like I am running in a sauna, I get my ass out there and even have taken on the "stevens hills" already (3.5 + hills this am)!  This weekend is 8 miles, I wonder what time I should wake up to do that! 

Tonight I'm heading down to TR and get to see my nephew!!!!  Can't even explain how excited I am!  I will def take a picture and post about it tomorrow.

Below is my post from 4th of July which I saved!

Happy Independence Day weekend America!!!

This long weekend was hot hot HOT!  Wednesday night, B and I had dinner with friends.  It was great to catch up with them, however the place we frequent a lot and had dinner was having a really bad night!  They were out of pretty much everything, they overcooked our pizza and the service was pretty bad.  It is a shame, we loved that place, but probably will not go again for a long time.  We had wine and some after dinner cocktails at another local place, then called it a night around midnight.

Thursday we woke up early, but no early enough.  It was way too hot for me to do a run so we took Clyde on a decent walk and B napped all day.  It was 4^th of July and we had plans to go to a friend’s family barbecue and B wanted to “rest up” before the night of bbq started!  I, on the other hand, got really bored.  I worked on some wedding stuff, did a light clean then decided to go for a bike ride.  I was thinking that since I would be moving the “breeze” from movement would be enough to keep me from passing out!  Most of the trails by the water where closed off for the fireworks, but I did get a pretty decent hour bike ride in.  Then when I got home, Clyde decided to show me how patriot he was by posing with his red, white and blue toy!

At the BBQ I made really good food choices…at first.  I had the grilled chicken, the salads and stuck to the low cal foods.  Then, after way too much Twisted Teas, I went nuts.  Deserts, potato salad, hamburger.  Ugh.  That along with the calories of the “teas” really made me feel sluggish and fat the next day.  Friday, B had to do work at his parents and I felt like sh*t.  I dropped him off and went home.  Sat at home doing nothing and ordered some fried food around 2pm.  My stomach was on the fritz and it helped.  Bad cycle.  Drink, eat bad, eat worse to ease stomach pain from drinking.  Yeah, that will not be happening for a long time!  I went to pick B up around 6 and we had a nice grilled dinner with his parents.  I wasn’t feeling 100%, but that dinner at least felt good.

Saturday came and went.  It was 100 degrees literally and just a dead humid heat.  B and I stayed pretty much in our undies on our bed all day.  We met up with friends for a late dinner, but the food choices where all very good.  Sunday was another hot day, but I was babysitting!  My friends where moving so I watched their toddler for a couple hours and it was fun!  He is a very good boy, so it was pretty easy!  He waded in his pool for a bit, but even that was hot! 

 

This morning I woke up and ran.  Even though it was still really hot, I couldn’t put it off anymore.  It wasn’t fun and I didn’t feel great.  I knew it was all because of the heat, but it didn’t matter.  I was bummed with how hard it was.  Tonight B and I are having a super healthy dinner of black bean burgers and veggies then going for a bike ride!  Believe it or not, I’m really hoping for some rain to cool off the heat!

I have a big day ahead for me tomorrow and I can’t wait to get to it!

Also, here is another bonus picture of Clyde meeting a little pittbull puppy, swooooooooooooon!

Ran 7.5, feel so alive....still can't post in normal post section. I might need to change my host.

Looks like my browser needs to be updated, need approval from comp :(

Trying to post, but I am erroring out :( I saved my post on a doc though and will try tomorrow!

TGIW

It's only Wednesday, but it is a Friday in our office!  We have off tomorrow and Friday and I am so excited!  One of my best girlfriends moved into the suburbs in April and I do not get to see her as much as I had when she lived three blocks down and we are spending 4th of July together!  So excited to hang with her and her fam!

Can I tell you, I felt great today!  I ran 5.5 miles this am and it was awesome!  I used my micoach app to make sure that I didn't start off too fast.  I kept my first two miles within the 9-10 minute mile pace instead of the 8-9 minute mile pace I have been starting off at.  The first mile consisted of working on my breathing and making sure my strides where complete (meaning rolling my feet all the way through and expanding my stride to a comfortable distance).  I put band aids on my feet to avoid blistering, but they weren't the blister bandages I usually purchase, just regular band aids.  Although they work in the beginning, they tend to move so towards the very end I felt the blisters popping up.  I really need to purchase my gear and new sneakers now that I think about it.  Anyway, at mile one I felt great, I knew I could push farther than the 4.5 miles I did on Monday and so I took a quick glance at what time it was and saw I had enough time to add more distance.  It was that simple, one mile in I knew what type of run I was going to have.  Now I have been running for a very long time and this is the second marathon I am training for, so it took many, MANY runs before I was able to identify what my body feels during a run, but once I did I was able to take in the view and coast.  I decided that I should snap a shot and share the view I am so lucky to see each run.

Beautiful, NYC.  That is lower Manhattan, the large building is the Freedom Tower (where the World Trade Towers used to be)  It was hot, but a beautiful morning.

After my run, I took C to the dog park and stretched.  I wore a cotton shirt running and it was a mistake, but I didn't have anything clean that I saw in my groggy state when I woke up at 5:45am.  Cotton just isn't a great material when you sweat.  It is heavy and it can chafe.  I didn't have to worry about chaffing because it just wasn't that long of a run to cause it, but any long runs past 10 miles you have to be in your best running gear.  I'm talking quick dry running shorts (they are undies that are like booty shorts), quick dry shirts and I wear cycling shorts.  I also use a bunch of other gear that I put on my body, which I spoke about last year and will again this year once I enter those longer runs. 

I got ready for work and then at work, I decided to take another picture, this time of my foot!  This puppy is the never ending blister!  This is what I need to get the correct bandages for.  It heals, but new ones just start forming underneath.  The blister bandage that is kind of like another layer of skin I put on works wonders, but if I don't use it, see below!

You have been warned!!!

Also, I'm sorry that my feet are kind of gross looking.  My toenails are painted and cute, but I can't really get pedi's when I'm training (too embarrassed) and the bottoms of my feet kind don't get the attention they deserve!  Also I wear flip flops in the summer and walking around Hoboken/NYC in flip flops = not best idea.

I am hoping we are going to get out of work a little early today, then B and I are hitting up Dozzino's for dinner and getting our Hot Onion pizza on!  The best pizza, seriously that Hot Onion is the best flipping pizza!  I am not sure, but I think I am going to have wine with dinner, I have off tomorrow and I only plan on doing a 2.5 or 3 mile run, so if I have a little too much wine, aight no thang! 

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July!  God Bless America!

And training officially begins!

July 1st is here!  My training for the 2013 ING marathon has officially begun!  So here I am, a year later and going for it the second time around.  I ran this weekend, just a quick two miler.  I woke up late and didn't get started until around 8am.  The humidity was really just stifling.  Two miles was all I had in me yesterday morning.  I also did a ton of activity this weekend in general.  My weekend was another glorious one!  Hours of walking and bike riding, two movies and chilling with my two buds Brendan and Clyde!  Clyde really was not interested in the walking part, so after a few attempts at longer walks I took him home and let him relax in the A/C.  Each year he gets worse and worse in the heat.

This morning I was up early in an attempt to beat the humidity, around 5:45am.  I ran, it was ok, but not amazing.  I'm sorry but the first day of training and having it be as humid as it was stunk.  I was all ready to be positive and happy about marathon training, but in the end I did it, about a 9:30 minute mile pace and it was just ok.  I went home, stretched and got to work early.  I ran 4.5 miles this am.  A little longer than what I started out with last year, but I want to pusth myself a little harder than last year.  My goal is to be stronger and more prepared.  Don't get me wrong, I could have run the marathon last year.  I was up to 22 miles and I know I would have run it, but I did hit some hiccups during training.  Mostly towards the end since I was so tired of it all.  I hope to remain focused and strength train a lot more. 

My post run "glow"

I gave myself a pedicure yesterday too, which felt great and my toes look like a pro got to them, however my soft feet gave me a big ole blister this am.  Last year my feet suffered the most, including losing two toe nails!  I am going to put some money into investing the proper socks and preventative bandages to not have them go completely to shit this year.

I have runs scheduled for Wed/Thurs & Sat this week.  Saturday being my long one, with a distance of 6 miles.  I do plan on weight training tomorrow and Sunday.  Let this be my ceremonial "ribbon cutting", and I'm off!

Facial Cleansing

I got a facial on Wednesday and boy did I need it.  We have something here called Groupon.  They give you deals, like the one I purchased.  I got a basic facial (usually $70) for $35.  Not too shabby!  You tip on the full amount and you have to pay tax, but it's definitely a good deal.  I was exhausted, I felt better, but kind of crappy and for about an hour I was able to relax and my face felt great.

Now this was a basic facial, which didn't include any deep pore cleansing.  I will have to get a top of the line facial soon before my wedding so I can get rid of any black heads I have.  I may be pale and freckly, but overall my skin stays pretty clear!  Below is a picture after I left, I didn't smile because I wanted to show my skin with no lines in it.  I look hardcore!  Don't mess with me!

Post facial "glow"!

Yesterday was great!  B and I have been working hard this week communicating and figuring out how to communicate best.  We are 100% committed to getting through any issues (well mostly any issues, I am pretty sure I/we can't get past any cheating) that come up no matter where they come.  It is not always easy, like I said before, but I am praying and hoping it is worth it and so far it feels like it is.  We are connected and focusing on us and yesterday was a good day.  We felt happy again and I was able to get a great nights sleep!  I think I plopped down around 9am and stayed asleep until around 7am!  I woke up today feeling refreshed and focused!

Unfortunately, running was not in the cards for me all week.  I am waking up early tomorrow and getting a long run in, my goal is 5 miles.  After that, not sure.  Maybe a bike ride, maybe cleaning, grocery shop, I don't know, all depends on the weahter.  I'm not making plans this weekend, so my plan is to relax, do what I feel like and enjoy it!

Next week marks my official training schedule.  I am both nervous and excited.  Get ready to hear about the blisters, chaffing, bathroom breaks, oh yes, are you getting excited yet?????

Weekend of emotions

Well this weekend started off amazing!

Friday night I chilled out and watched Oz the Great and Powerful with B.  Saturday, woke up early, took C for a super long walk, then took a super long bike ride with B, then took C for another super long walk with my girlfriend.  C was completely knocked out!  After the second walk around 2:30pm we headed down the Jersey Shore to celebrate Father's Day with my Dad!  We didn't hit any traffic, I made sure to note that time we left to go down, because traffic to go down the Jersey Shore can be a biotch!  We had a great BBQ, chilled on the deck and left feeling healthy, but full!

Satuday night, BAM, I felt like I took a bullet.  B and I hit a really really rough night in our relationship.  I found myself unable to think, feel anything except anger and hurt.  I am not going to go into specifics, but it was bad.  I wasn't sure if I was going to put it out there, but the truth is the truth.  Sometimes relationships no matter how strong they feel are tested. 

The very next day B was out the door to Las Vegas.  He left late afternoon and I needed an escape.  I hit the movies, at 9am in the morning.  I sat there, probably looking like a pedophile, escaping to Monsters U, then I went to a different movie theater and sat and escaped to James Franco's house in This is the End.  I was able to laugh, I was able to forget, for just a couple of hours, but that was enough.  Enough for me to know that I am ok.  I will be ok.  I laughed. 

When it was time to get back to reality, I did.  I went home, B was off and as life stopped.  I didn't take calls, I didn't want to speak to anyone.  I wanted to understand what was going on.  I didn't eat.  That may be the only good side effect to getting really hurt, my appetite is gone.  I can't even swallow food, it makes me sick.  I slept.

Monday morning I woke up, still ignoring conversation.  I went to work.  I worked and slowly my head began to become less foggy.  A solution and a path was forming and I was feeling slightly better.  After work, I was ready for conversation.  I talked to my sister, she was amazing.  She confirmed my thoughts about what is the best course of action and she also listened to me.  I got to get it out.  It felt like a weight was lifted.  I talked to B, my love. 

I didn't get much exercise during the last two days, but I actually lost weight due to the whole not eating when stressed thing.  My appetite is coming back, but my heart is still hurt.  I do plan on exercising this week and getting some good runs in, but I just didn't have it in me the last couple of days.

Like I said before relationships, all relationships in life are work.  You have to put in the effort, you have to want to make it work, you have to have love.  I do not have all of the answers, but I am willing to try and find them.  Wish I had a happy update, but instead I just gave you a real one, warts and all.

"Love isn't always perfect.  It isn't a fairytale or a storybook and it doesn't always come easy.  Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go.  It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without.  Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it together." - Ritu Ghatourey